Musings

Breaking News: Kellyanne Conway Speaks a Truth

In a rare twist of fate, Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway did something that was even shocking to her parents. During a recent interview with Fox and Friends, the news source that Donald Trump considers to be the most legitimate (the second being The Onion), Conway’s stomach momentarily grumbled.

“Oh Kellyanne, are you hungry?” Asked the reporter.

Chuckling the situation off, Conway answered, “Yes, I’m starving!”

There was an immediate tension in the room, Conway realizing exactly what she just did. The reporter, never having been put in such a situation with Conway, offered her a protein bar that he had in his jacket.

“No thanks, I just ate,” replied Conway.

“But you just said…”

But before he could finish, Conway’s stomach grumbled again.

“Kellyanne, are you sure you’re not hungry?” Asked the reporter. “You’re stomach grumbled, twice.”

“No, it didn’t,” Conway said.

“I heard it,” insisted the reporter.

“You heard one noise, but I heard an alternative noise,” Conway said. “But I think the only real hunger that exists in America is the starvation people have to see Hillary Clinton’s 30,0000 deleted emails.”

Though Conway immediately retracted on being hungry, sources close to her say it was a brief moment of clarity and serenity for her, as she has never admitted to anything, nonetheless, being hungry before. One particular source states that she is considering changing things, such as maybe starting to admit minor things, like when she has to use the bathroom. “This moment created a lot of change for her. She is even considering not throwing a fit when people call her Kelly now.”

 

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